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"The choice to love for the beloved's good and the good of the friendship comes from our image and likeness to God."
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The Escape Hatch
It comes from the tendency toward self preservation. It is an quality of fear which is the irascible passion that seeks flight from an evil. "I will get out of relationship in hope of ending the pain." The other spouse or relationship is source of pain. There is a hope that separating will end pain. Idea of separating grows more appealing and brings false sense of peace.

It takes a commitment to fight for relationship and not against the beloved. One must make decisions for relationship. Each decision toward relationship deepens love & happiness. The hope that difficulty will be overcome; that the beloved may change; that the pain may end or that some good may come from this all lighten the pain. The trust in God and hope that He will bring the couple through is an ultimate recourse.

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