Patrick J. DiVietri, Ph.D.Because of original sin, human love tends towards the self and is conditioned upon what feels good and is more temporary subject to emotions. Christian love is associated more with the intellect and will and tends to transcend self as one simply gives. It is unconditional, permanent, directed to the good of the other. There are four types of love: affection, passion, friendship and charity. Affection is that form of love expressing tenderness, fondness, warmth, regard etc. It may take the form of terms of endearment, looks, expressions, considerations or the many things that offer reassurance and comfort such as a kiss, hug pat on the back or caress. Passion is the feeling of desire and attraction for another person in an emotional manner. It is unstable. When moderated it plays an important role in one’s life. Great people or leaders are passionate and give themselves in that way and this is part of gets the job done and inspires others. Helping children direct their passion to what is good and in a appropriate manner is a major objective for parents. Temperance and its related virtues are a big help in this. Friendship is love that is based upon mutually held values. It is the common ground of loyalty, understanding, respect etc. It is different for young children as it changes from a superficial form e.g. the toys the other has, to someone being fun, cool or attractive, to one based upon those qualities which stabilize adulthood, the virtues and profound values. It is also important to remember that children cannot truly be friends with their parents until they themselves have sufficient maturity to give themselves in an equal manner of adulthood. Charity is the love of the will. This is the love that thinks first of the good of the beloved. It is the type of love that is vowed in marriage because one can choose the good for the beloved no matter what it may cost. Affection and passion could never be vowed. Of course, friendship may be vowed because one may promise to give virtues to another. |
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Affection