Patrick J. DiVietri, Ph.D.

Taken from: Formation in Christian Love

V 1: Christian Family Life Education, See Pg. 24.

     “What are the values in a healthy family?”  If this question were asked of a room full of couples, their answers would look something like this:

            If asked to define a virtue, however, many of these same people would be unable to do so.  Yet, everyone knows about virtues.  For example, we all understand what constitutes trust and respect.  One person might possess a greater degree of trust than another, and one person’s understanding might exceed that of another’s.   Yet everyone knows that trust is good, and they all have a common sense of what it is.

      We know about virtues because we learned about them within our families.  Even families who suffer from a lack of these qualities know that these qualities are good and are the means of getting along well with others.  We all know that these qualities express love within the family and that they contribute to the happiness of family members.  If a virtue is valued by a family it is one of their families values.  This is why they are called “family values.”  So when we hear that term we can think of the values which we have listed above along with those which we ourselves hold to be important.

      We can see that a whole “family of virtues” that plays a part in happiness and the education of our children.   This is why discussion on “Chastity programs” can be quite misleading.  You can get the impression that it is one particular virtue, either abstinence or chastity, that is not being taught or acquired.  We hear people say, “Our school, parish or families are not doing anything about chastity.  It is not a question of one or two virtues but a whole family of virtues.  Most importantly, it is in the home more than anywhere else that we learn that all virtues must by guided and formed in charity, the “mother of all virtue.”  This is why the family is called, a “civilization of love.”[i]

[i] John Paul II, Letter to Families, Section 1, (Boston: St. Paul Books and Media), 1994

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